oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
