Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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