she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize