Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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