Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
