I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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