I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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