dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
