Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
