I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i drank out of a bidet.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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