And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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