Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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