he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
