It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize