hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
