just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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