Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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