New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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