Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
