i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
