You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
