He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
