I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
