i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
