I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
