I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
