After last night, I could never be a politician.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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