i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
