i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
