I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
