I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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