you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
