party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
