It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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