I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
