if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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