After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
