In America we eat man semen.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
