We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize