haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
