ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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