Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
