I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
