i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
