I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize