Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
