Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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