Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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