What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
