Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
