How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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