Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
