oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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