So drunk its hurt
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
