that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
