and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
