Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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