Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you would pick up someone in the library
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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