We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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