Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize