dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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