we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
